There have been parts of this tattoo process that I have to admit I had never really considered when I decided on this path. One of the most grievously overlooked aspects was the physical requirements of tattooing some of the more “hard to reach” parts of the body. Up until appointment 76, laying down with my leg in the air so Horizakura could tattoo where my thigh meets my butt cheek was the most compromising position I had faced. Turns out it gets worse.
This is the first time lines have been tattooed on me that I can’t fully capture without becoming horrifyingly immodest. You’ll get the jist of it in the pictures below, but the edge of this tattoo on my inner thigh is literally where my leg ends. During this appointment, I considered such questions as “Does having my leg tattooed this close to my twig and berries make me cooler or more committed than others?” and “Where does my leg end and my taint begin?” I may never have the answers to those questions. For educational purposes, I will tell you that the mechanics of giving Horizakura access to that area of my body involved me pulling my fundoshi wrapped junk out of his way while he sat on the table and I had my leg stretched out wide and resting on a stand. It was, without a doubt, the least sexy I have ever felt.
Why is this post entitled, “Are you nervous?” Horizakura put that imposing and foreboding question to me just as he was getting the machine ready to begin. I put that high on the list of questions you don’t want to be asked while you’re laying in the position I was in. I couldn’t help but laugh, but the truth is I wasn’t nervous. It was certainly awkward, but no part of my leg has ever been as painful as the center of my chest or parts of the ass have been. Speaking of which, he also did some more feathers and such around the phoenix. I’m starting to think the chest is worse than the ass. Every line felt like I had intense heart burn.
Appointments like these are the ones that make me glad I started this blog. Many of you, and the whole of social media culture, likely just want to see a picture of the few lines done over this one hour appointment and move on. But this one hour appointment has yielded more laughs and thoughts than some of my longer appointments ever have. I’m glad that I will have a way to go back and remember what this part of the experience was fresh after it had happened to me.
It’s virtually impossible that I have kept your attention this long. Just look at the pictures and be on your way: